Diary Entries Part 7

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Today when I awoke, the sun was shining. The road is lonely, but I am not alone. 

I read my e-mail. My Austin friend wants to be a free spirit. 

There is no coverage for when I wrecked her car.*  Her insurance will have to pay for it. A $500.00 deductible and higher premiums. She is stressed and so am I. How can I pay her back for what I did? She cares for me and misses me. We are both stubborn. Yet, we have such a strong physical bond.

She is so hurt, so am I, but in such different ways. 

I need money and I need it fast. God please let it come my way and I will pass it along to Chrissy and to Eagle. I don't need much. I have survived on so little for so long. Please let me have the Austin Angel back. Let me be Clean and Sober and let us be friends. Helping each other the way friends are supposed to.

In the evening, Artie and I had a nice dinner and watched Helen of Troy.

I have mixed emotions, Remember if you have nothing, you have nothing to offer. You and I, God know I miss her...

Is there anything I can do

Is there anything I can say

To change your feelings

And give us hope to stay.

To pray that it all works out

I pray that she'll come about

To hold her in my arms again

To share our love - honestly

* Somewhere between 12/3 and 12/13 Mark took Chrissy's car and the money Rose sent to him for the satellite office start up. He went out on a crack binge, spent all of the money and got into a car accident with the car.